The Dream (Landon)

Sensing that I needed to be there, I pushed through the crowds. Surprisingly, no one tried to fight me, not even the police. Although the school was mostly a charred mess, a few residual flames burned. Somehow, I knew to follow the flames.

I found a boy with red hair who looked to be about 15. He was dressed in all black with a bandanna around his nose and mouth. Weeping penitently and bitterly, I wondered if he was mourning his friends not knowing if they were dead or alive. When I found the bow at his side, I realized that he had done the deed. He scrounged around for an arrow, presumably to plant it through his head.

I approached him slowly and got down on his level. Upon looking more closely at the boy, I realized that he was my past self. I put my hand on his shoulder and he did not flinch. Instead, he clung to me and didn't seem to keen on letting go.
         "Let's get out of here. This place is a mess." I led my past self out of the building and into the light.

As I led him out, the crowd began to fight us. Someone knocked past me down and, oddly enough, I felt compelled to defend him. I told him to get out while he could and took hit after hit. Leaving the bandanna behind, he escaped. My vision started blurring and fading to black until I finally woke up.

Usually, in my past self dreams, I end up arguing with and fighting with 15 year old Landon and he usually ended up trying to kill me. Sometimes, he succeeded. At other times, I managed to get away. Ever since I started my presentation research, I began to realize why talking about Havencraft from my perspective mattered to me. Not only did I want to debunk rumors that I'm a sociopath, I want to help students like me who are going through similar things I want through. No student should feel the need to open fire on their classmates.

I was taught about preventing weapon violence in schools, but it was all the same witch hunt kind of stuff. As an example of what vigilante justice does, a student was expelled from DesiredCraft High School for listening to the song World Domination How-To by Neru. All the student did was listen to the song. Staff claimed that that the song "encouraged weapon violence" when that's not even the predominant focus of the song. All the incident told me was that the fine arts department, no less, had no idea how to read a composer's intentions. Tsuji and Azuma, the characters in the video, were two students who felt that they had no place in life. They were worried that they were going that things weren't going to end for them, that they would end up stuck with some boring desk job bullied by bosses and coworkers just like in high school. The flying desks are just symbols of Tsuji and Azuma breaking out of their hopelessness and realizing that they can break the cycle.

Caitlin was my Azuma. She, too, felt lonely, out of place, and was at odds with the world. I knew it the moment I saw her face. At first, I took out some unchecked anger and insecurity on her.  I saw an adversary, another version of myself in Caitlin. Eventually, she got the guts to confront me...to my face...in front of other people. No one's ever done that for me before. Thanks to her, I had a fresh start. I had the opportunity to at least try to understand my 15 year old self and not fight him.

Checking the calendar, I realized that it was my birthday: March 28. I am 22 years old today. I have a Gudetama T-shirt on and my life is of reasonable quality. I evaded the death penalty by a hair and now I'm making something good out of my life and serving something greater than myself. As I finished reading the article on sociopathy, I heard the doorbell ring. This had better not be more death threat mail.
         A delivery person handed me a cake. Hmm...cake? I'd hate for it to be poisoned, but, if I died eating cake, I died eating cake. On top, it featured some art of Tsuji and Mamoru from Neru's songs. Wow. Someone knows my tastes very well. I looked at the description on the receipt. The cake itself was lemon on top and chocolate on the bottom. Those are my two favorite cake flavors. I can't say which one I like more, though.
         "Thank you so much." I accepted the cake, left a generous tip of two emeralds, and took picture of the cake with my phone. After that, I read the note. It was in Helvetica this time. Is it my mysterious secret admirer again?

Will you be my Tsuji? -Mamoru

Hmm. That's pretty cryptic. Was it a Twitter troll? Nah. A Twitter troll wouldn't know where I live--or give me something this nice, for that matter. I looked at the back. There was nothing else, so I couldn't tell who "Mamoru" was...at least, not without a little reasoning.

Between the presence of the note, and the fact that "Mamoru" knew where I lived, I narrowed it down to two options: Steve or Mark. That left me to look more at the cake itself, which had blue frosting around the border. It was a signature Steve move to use symbolic colors, but Mark was familiar enough with Steve that he could imitate him pretty well. The blue frosting could have been a Mark move as well. I looked at the sprinkles on the frosting border: purple hearts, blue sand sugar, green smiles, and red flames. That was awfully specific. Mark wouldn't have gone to the trouble to incorporate this level of symbolism into a cake...or would he? The doorbell rang again.
          "Someone decided to order you a none pizza with left beef." The other delivery person paused. "Oh, and this person also ordered a giant bottle of pink lemonade for you. Whoever they are, they must have a great sense of humor." I left another tip and found a note with the pizza. It was handwritten.

I think my friend here likes you. I'll give you three clues to this person's identity. If nothing else, there was a good chance that Mark sent the none pizza with left beef. Steve is much more tasteful than that. If Steve sent me a pizza, he would at least send me one that had sauce and cheese.

1. Male
2. Plays a brass instrument
3. Band director

Those aren't very helpful clues! There are many people who could fit that description. I unfolded the note some more.

Ha! Just kidding. Here are the real clues.

1. Likes the color blue
2. Famous
3. Ex-violin prodigy

So it was Steve! I didn't know how to feel. Did he feel the same way about me? My heart started racing and my face must have turned as red as my hair. Impulsively, I took a bite from the none pizza with left beef and thought of the future I could have with him.