I got promoted to the advanced class to work even more on pointe. I've never been more tired or more excited. Some people didn't like me as a tall Clara, saying that my height made me look too old for the role. Being taller than most of the girls my age, I've always been known as "the tall girl". None of the boys want to partner with me because I'm taller than a lot of them are and, because of the shortage of boys, I might have to partner with a girl.
My heart fluttered at the thought of being so close to another girl. I didn't understand my boy-crazy friends and just thought that Mindcrack had a shortage of cute boys and too many cute girls. I don't understand why some people think it's bad for girls to like girls. Why do people think it's okay to say it's bad to love someone when those same people are too busy driving others into suicide and filling the world with hate?
Though I try not to notice, it gets to me when I see how other girls are so thin and beautiful. Do I want to be with them or do I want to be them? Another girl did effortless echapées in her pointe shoes. How did she do that? I've heard that tall dancers have difficulties with moving quickly and, being the tall girl, such is my reality. That and being taller makes me look older despite being the youngest girl in the class.
Our exam will be a solo from Act 1 of Giselle. Every girl wants to be Giselle, which makes it the competition that much tenser. Naturally, I'm working on my positions and looking like I'm gliding across the stage. I've heard it said that my strength is making music with my body rather than just moving to it. It helps that I sing, play the trumpet, and have just begun to learn full kit drumming. The more music I can make, the more I can see myself as someone more than the tall girl.
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Yay for singing; trumpet and full kit drumming!
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