Want to know what you're missing out on by rejecting Kaito Hiyashida?
He's a nice kid who wants to learn. I spent the first lesson teaching him how to properly support a euphonium (because those things are heavy!) while getting to know him. He is very interested in music and doesn't like loud noises. (This will be a challenge.) His favorite color is green and he can use a sword pretty well judging by the videos he showed me. Kaito was impressed that I learned some Japanese for him. I was surprised that this is not the norm for other teachers. I used the correct honorifics and found out a few things about him based on the 250 word core noun/verb package on his device. He seriously needs an adjective and adverb pack. A keyboard would do him good too.
After that, I ended up on the floor utterly disoriented and terrified. I vaguely remembered water running through my hair and tasted something acrid in my mouth. Was that blood or vomit? I felt like all the energy had left me. I felt the sheets against my body and let sleep take over. If I can sleep, I can pretend everything's okay for a while.
I woke up in time to go to our respective places at different schools. Steve offered to carry my things until we parted, for which I was grateful. I needed all the energy I could muster. I had the privilege of working with Skull Crusher High School's low brass and upper woodwinds. Skull Crusher High School was known for their band program. They had, so I heard, 5 piccolos (!!!), 22 flutes, 9 oboes, 17 clarinets, 6 trombones, and 5 tubas. I took my stuff and made my way down the path with a map in tow. I took back my things and set off.
Rule #1 of going places with cerebral palsy: Do not overload yourself with heavy stuff, especially if you don't need it. Unfortunately, I needed my clarinet, euphonium (which comes in a wheeled case but STILL), sheet music, a tuner, health stuff, food for the day, and a flute I borrowed from Matilda. I practiced a bit of flute now and then, but I was not much good at the instrument. I was on par with a skilled high school student musically with regard to my abilities as a flutist. I played on Rosalie's flute and got pretty good at it. She rarely practiced and never really cared what I did with it any of her stuff. I would have continued on flute if I could really nail those high notes.
I tripped on an errant stone and fell on my face, collapsing under my pile of stuff. Luckily, I didn't break anything, but it still hurt. I picked up everything and continued on my path. I cleaned off my wounds at a nearby well because showing up with blood running down one's knee is generally considered unprofessional. We all have things to do and places to be and, when we do them, we should do them well. I have to work much harder than most people and that's okay. Doing what I love makes me willing to put in the effort.
I saw the school building. Its imposing structure is reminiscent of a college rather than a high school. Pulling out the map, I plotted my steps. I was exhausted just from walking there. How was I going to get through teaching two groups? The low brass welcomed me. I led them in a few scales. After tuning to a B flat, we ran through some of the music. I had to correct trombone positions the entire time. We exchanged a few jokes, worked on pedal tones and lip slurs, and all around had a great rehearsal. After that, I turned my attention to the upper woodwinds.
This was a totally different atmosphere. Right away, I could see competitiveness, perfectionism, and a desire to lead unlike the low brass whose members just wanted to crack fart jokes and were pretty laid back as far as I could tell. I tuned the woodwinds to an A. One of the members thought we were extremely sharp. I then realized that my tuner was set to A445! After re-tuning to A440, we played scales. Because none of them were following me, I cut off and they all started yelling at each other. I tried to get their attention. I waved my hands to stave off the tension I felt in my throat. One of the flutists looked disgusted. The others didn't seem to notice or care. The flutist spoke.
"No offense, but you look like you have a disability when you do that." I bet she wouldn't have said that about my use of a cane. She didn't seem to care about the bandage on my knee or placement of my feet on the floor. "You're seriously disturbing everyone."
"Shut up, Kathryn. How would you know what that's like?" Another flutist, a boy, rolled his eyes. Apparently, she must be like this all the time.
"Well, I have Type 1 diabetes and I don't have my insulin pump hanging out." Wow. I thought a fellow disabled person would have more compassion and understanding than that. Well, to each their own, I suppose.
"Sorry if I was making anyone uncomfortable." I stopped, seeing that my hand movements were rather unusual. "Let's continue. Pull out your contest music." The flutes were a half step off from each other on the G flat. I tuned each of them and only one was in tune. Only one. Really? After some frantic adjusting, the lot of them all sounded better. I demonstrated phrases on my instruments as needed. We ran through the sixteenth note passages and discussed alternate fingerings. The clarinets and I had an interesting discussion on reeds. Some of them used the prescribed cedar reeds and others used oak reeds. A few used birch reeds. Most used spruce reeds. One of them was surprised I used sugar cane reeds because they're normally seen as beginner reeds. I think you should use what suits you regardless of what others think. I let them take a break and get lunch.
As I opened my lunch, I couldn't help but ruminate over Kathryn's words. Why is it that someone who should understand my experiences on a deeper level would mock a simple idiosyncrasy of mine with such overt hatred? Carmen and Nathan never said things like that. Kaito understood it fully and Adrian was used to it. I tried to think about what made Kathryn so judgmental of a few simple hand movements when she knew what disability was like. Is it that people are compelled to pit others' impairments against each others' and their own? But why?
Why is it so easy for people to hail me as an idol when I go out with my cane and then despise me the moment I flap my hands?
Caitlin sure can play a lot of instruments!
ReplyDeleteThat Kathryn character doesn't seem very nice...my OC Olivia has type 1 diabetes and would gladly talk some sense into her should that be needed.
That is a good question actually, here's my look at it, as I've revived similar treatment. For example say someone has a broken leg and has a cast and crutches. People can see that their legs broken and relate, as it's rather common. But when someone has an invisible disability, autism, hearing loss, ext. and others can't see that, someone will flap their hands and others will ask "why do you do that?!" Or if someone can't hear and they need repetition people don't understand if the person doesn't have hearing aids. So I think that people are more tolerant of disabilities that they deem 'common' or visible. But that does not always happen either.
Well, she really had nothing else to do, so she devoted herself to the study of music and pedagogy.
DeleteI like your look at it. I think that people tend to disconnect the brain from the body. If a problem lies within the body, they are more apt to sympathize. However, if it lies within the brain, they ridicule and think it is a conscious choice because they can't see their own brains without expensive technology. (Even then, our technology falls short.) People can see and feel their own bodies. The brain has no nerve endings, so it cannot be felt. It is easy to forget that the brain is a physical member of the body that undergoes physical processes that control the rest of your physical processes. I think that, since the brain is intangible, it is forgotten that it is a physical part of the body.
“How strange it is that people of honest feelings and sensibilty, who would not take advantage of a man born without arms or legs or eyes—how such people think nothing of abusing a man with low intelligence.”
― Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon
That makes sense.
DeleteThanks. Yeah people usually disconnect the two. I like how you look at it.
That's a good quote.