At my Worst (Caitlin)

         "But...Where will I live? I don't have anything of value, I left my cranes behind, and...the overworld doesn't seem to want me."  This was the biggest transition in my life and it happened in a blur. After the euphoria wore off, I felt agitated. I clenched my hands in fists. I trembled from head to toe. Anxiety built in me like a TNT block slowly lighting other TNT in an enclosed room. I couldn't let Steve see me like this, so I ran. He looked at me bewildered. Those blue eyes fixed on me with utter shock. He pursued me into the woods.

         "But I don't just want you. I need you." Why would anyone need me except for as a subservient slave? Did Steve just want me to serve him as I did the dragon and my sisters? I climbed into a tree the fastest I could, using all four limbs to steady myself. I emerged at the top.
         "For what, exactly?" I had some sense of purpose in the end, but not here. I was not willing to be abused and enslaved again.
          "I don't know... just in some irrational way, I know I do." After years of being misled, how could I trust anyone? However, I instinctively trusted Steve. I saw stability and security in him, yet I
couldn't explain it. I took out my bow and fired an arrow at a skeleton. It clattered in a heap. I 
climbed down and joined Steve. He embraced me with very little warning and I went limp as is customary for me. Apparently surprised, he cocked his head and let go. I fell to the ground, but he 
helped me to my feet. "Stay with me", he said. "It would kill me if I weren't there for you." I walked with him do the cobblestone path. I tripped over a few stones, but Steve caught me every time. Then,
 the world went black.

I woke up in the hospital. Andrew hovered over me and asked me something I couldn't quite process
. He seemed to understand and waited for me to regain my senses.  The doctor turned towards Steve.
          "What happened?" Steve implored Andrew to know why I had a drop attack. "Will she be okay?" I saw genuine concern on their faces. I never saw that look since Vivienne died. I remembered
 her bandaging a cut on my arm when I was little. He turned towards me and asked me if I needed 
anything. The bright lights bothered me to no end, surgeons ran by in green blurs, and machines beeped. If I wasn't so afraid of the IV in my left arm, I would have covered my ears. Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to say Yes! Make the noises stop! but I couldn't. Sensing my agitation, Steve tried to put his hand on my non-needled arm, but I recoiled. He walked away helplessly, but I wanted him to stay. Andrew walked over to introduce himself, but I only got this:
       "Hello. I am Dr. Andrew Lai...MRI...brain scan...history of atonic seizures...CAT 
scan...implants...pacemakers...metal on clothing...food or drink in the last 8 hours...EEG scan?" None 
of it made sense. The next thing I know, I was in a dark tube listening to this awful clattering noise. It went on and on with no end. Later, I was removed from the tube; masked figure placed electrodes on my head and told me to fall asleep.
asleep. I tried, but I couldn't quite get there. Eventually, a wave of exhaustion washed over me and I 
did so.

I don't remember what else happened, but I remember waking up in Steve's home with him next to me. With that same genuine concern, he, again, asked me what happened. I never wanted anyone to see me like that, especially those who cared about me. He took my hand and told me about the EEG test results. I tested positive for a seizure disorder, but the stress of the hospital visit might have affected my results. He said that he would schedule another EEG test to make sure that it would not be a false positive.