A Bad Day (Alice)

Pulling my trumpet out of case, I started stumbling through the eighth note runs. How did the flutes breeze through sixteenth notes so easily? I hit the notes on the bottom of the staff quite easily. Here comes a high note. I'll probably frack it as usual. Using the techniques my new music teacher, Miss Netherfield, acquainted me with, I pushed with all my might and, as usual, fracked. I tried harder and, even if I put so much air into my horn I was out of breath, I. Still. Fracked. I was told that all I needed to do in order to achieve what I want was to try harder, but I remembered my wise teacher's advice: Sometimes, you need not try harder, but try smarter.

I pulled out my part for "Bad Day", the song I felt my teacher needed to hear the day I found him. I was going to ask about a good practice mute that I could use because mine doesn't work. but I saw him slumped over his desk with a bottle of pills near his hand. The sight made me feel, honestly, like my heart was pounding out of my chest. I had to gather my last bit of courage in order to get help because he needed it--and as soon as possible. I guess the slayer of the Ender Dragon was battling another dragon as well, one that no one else could see. They could only see its effects. No student wants to find their teacher upset, let alone almost dead. Everyone wants to be the hero until the opportunity presents itself.

I wanted to cry, but, honestly, I could never bring myself to do such a thing. Instead, I got to work on my math and science. It was my sole comfort nowadays, something that just was instead of laced with subjective interpretation. Despite anyone's assertions, I was not particularly good at academics, music, or anything else for that matter. Why is it that someone can get twice the results working half as hard as I do? It is one thing to be intelligent or talented and another to work in order to acquire a skill. When I got that out of the way, I turned to my English homework.

Today's journal prompt was: Write about a time someone encouraged you to do what is right.

I tried again and again to find the right words. Kyle found me crying in the hallway because I tried to get into youth orchestra, but failed...for the third time. I wasn't even crying about not getting in. My parents want me to be good at stuff like Melanie. It's not fair, though. Melanie get away not studying for a test and still get an A. Me? I have to stay up all night just to scrape up a C. Melanie, Melanie. All they talk about is how wonderful she is and how worthless I am. I saw Kyle occasionally in the band room. He said that I came in day after day consistently like no other.

That and I have to go to work after school today. Yes, work. Villager kids take up trades as young as the age of six. Even though I'm half human, our family still doesn't make much. Melanie got into Mindcrack via an IQ test; I got in because of Melanie. Everyone expects me to be like her. It's all I hear every day: Why can't you be like Melanie? Why can't you be talented or pretty like Melanie? It comes from my teachers all the time. However, Mr. Lowell, the band teacher, was different. Despite Melanie being the flute section leader, he sees me as Alice and not a broken replica of my sister.

But what gave me the strength to save his life? What makes a hero? Is it just someone with the guts to do the right thing or is there more to it than that?

Kyle respected that I work hard for the things I want. He encouraged me to be Alice and to hone that identity to its utmost quality. Not only that, he taught me how to relax and love myself. No one ever taught me how to do that, not ever. I thought I just needed to work harder and then, maybe, I would be respected. But what good is respect if I cannot give it to myself?

Mr. Lowell is a hero, not just in the sense of his slaying the Ender Dragon, but the fact that he does things because they are right, even if they are not popular. Talking about mental health is one of them. He works hard and plays hard. That I respect. I rarely let myself play. I hope he is okay. Knowing that I probably saved his life, I headed off to work to scrounge up some iron ingots and then make dinner for all four of us. It's been a bad day for me, for all of us.